dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
