He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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