Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
