im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
