just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
