She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
