There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
