if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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