i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
