"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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