Buhtt sex?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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