also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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