was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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