Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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