god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
