Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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