...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
