It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
