seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
