On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
