please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
