he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
