Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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