i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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