Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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