Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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