She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
