im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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