Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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