Cold hands, warm shart.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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