In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
