The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
