honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
