I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
