I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
