Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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