You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
