Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
