nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
