I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
