I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
