I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
