I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
