You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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