I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
