Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
