were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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