you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
