its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
