did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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