i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
