Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
