Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
