I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
