ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
